Letter of Wishes
Complement your will with personal guidance for your loved ones. A Letter of Wishes helps your executors understand your preferences and reduces the burden of decision-making during a difficult time.
What is a Letter of Wishes?
A Letter of Wishes is a personal document that accompanies your will, providing guidance and expressing your preferences to your executors and loved ones. While not legally binding, it serves as valuable communication that helps those you leave behind understand your intentions.
Think of it as a conversation you're having with your family after you've gone – a chance to explain your decisions, share your preferences, and provide comfort during a difficult time. It can cover anything from practical matters like funeral arrangements to deeply personal messages for your loved ones.
Because it's not a legal document, a Letter of Wishes offers flexibility that your will cannot. You can update it easily without the formalities required for changing a will, and you can include personal sentiments that wouldn't be appropriate in a legal document.
A Personal Touch
Your Letter of Wishes allows you to leave more than just instructions – it's an opportunity to share your thoughts, explain your decisions, and leave meaningful messages for those you love.
How it Differs from a Will
Understanding the difference between these two documents helps you use each one effectively.
Your Will
- Legally binding – must be followed by your executors
- Formal requirements – must be properly witnessed and signed
- Deals with assets – who inherits your property, money, and possessions
- Appoints executors – names who will administer your estate
- Becomes public – registered with the Probate Registry after death
- Harder to change – requires a codicil or new will
Your Letter of Wishes
- Not legally binding – provides guidance rather than instructions
- No formal requirements – can be handwritten or typed
- Deals with preferences – funeral wishes, personal items, messages
- Guides executors – helps them understand your intentions
- Remains private – only seen by those you choose
- Easy to update – simply write a new letter
What to Include in Your Letter of Wishes
Your letter can include anything you want to communicate to your loved ones. Here are some common areas people choose to cover.
Funeral Wishes
Express your preferences for burial or cremation, the type of service you'd like, music choices, readings, and any other details that matter to you. This guidance is invaluable for family members who may be unsure of your wishes.
Personal Items Distribution
While your will deals with major assets, your Letter of Wishes can specify who should receive sentimental items – jewellery, photographs, collections, or heirlooms that have special meaning. This prevents disagreements and ensures items go to the right people.
Messages to Family
Share your thoughts, express your love, and leave meaningful messages for your children, grandchildren, partner, or friends. These personal words often become treasured keepsakes for those you leave behind.
Care Wishes for Children or Pets
If you have young children, you can provide guidance about their upbringing, education preferences, and values you'd like instilled. For beloved pets, you can express wishes about their care, favourite routines, and any special needs.
Digital Assets and Passwords
In today's digital world, you can provide information about online accounts, social media profiles, digital subscriptions, and how you'd like them handled. Include guidance on accessing important accounts (though store actual passwords securely).
Explanation of Decisions
If your will contains decisions that might cause confusion or hurt feelings, your Letter of Wishes is the place to explain your reasoning. This can help prevent family disputes and ensure your intentions are understood.
Keeping Your Letter of Wishes Updated
Unlike your will, which requires formal procedures to change, your Letter of Wishes can be updated easily and as often as you like. This flexibility is one of its greatest advantages.
Consider reviewing and updating your Letter of Wishes:
- After major life events – marriage, divorce, birth of children or grandchildren, or the death of a beneficiary
- When your preferences change – your views on funerals, personal items, or other matters may evolve over time
- Every few years – even without major changes, a regular review ensures everything remains current
- When you update your will – ensure both documents work together and reflect your current wishes
When you write a new version, clearly date it and destroy or mark the old version as superseded to avoid confusion.
How a Letter of Wishes Helps Your Executors
Your executors have a difficult job, often during an emotional time. A Letter of Wishes makes their role significantly easier.
Reducing the Burden of Decisions
Without guidance, your executors must make difficult decisions about funerals, personal items, and other matters while grieving. Your Letter of Wishes removes this burden by clearly expressing what you want.
Providing Clarity
Your will sets out what happens to your estate, but a Letter of Wishes explains why. This context helps executors understand your intentions and make decisions that align with your values.
Preventing Family Disputes
When your wishes are clearly documented, there's less room for disagreement among family members. Your Letter of Wishes can explain sensitive decisions and reduce the potential for conflict.
Immediate Guidance
Some decisions – particularly about funeral arrangements – need to be made quickly. Having your wishes documented means your family can act confidently and immediately, knowing they're doing what you wanted.
The Process with Your Estate Planner
Creating a Letter of Wishes is straightforward and personal. Here's how We can help.
Initial Discussion
We'll talk about what matters most to you and what you'd like to include in your Letter of Wishes. We'll guide you through the different areas you might want to cover and help you think about things you may not have considered.
Drafting Your Letter
Based on our conversation, we'll help you create a comprehensive Letter of Wishes that clearly expresses your preferences. We ensure it complements your will and covers all the areas that matter to you.
Review and Finalise
You'll have the opportunity to review the draft and make any changes. Once you're happy, we'll finalise the document and ensure it's stored safely alongside your will.
Ongoing Support
We're here whenever you need to update your Letter of Wishes. Life changes, and your letter should change with it. We'll help you keep it current and relevant.
Frequently Asked Questions
Common questions about Letters of Wishes
No, a Letter of Wishes is not legally binding. Unlike your will, which is a legal document that must be followed, a Letter of Wishes provides guidance and expresses your preferences. However, executors and trustees typically give significant weight to your wishes and will follow them wherever possible. The benefit of a Letter of Wishes is its flexibility – you can update it easily without the formalities required for changing a will.
While not essential, a Letter of Wishes is highly recommended as a complement to your will. Your will deals with the legal distribution of your estate, but a Letter of Wishes allows you to provide personal guidance that wouldn't be appropriate in a will – such as funeral preferences, messages to loved ones, the distribution of sentimental items, or guidance about caring for children or pets. It helps your executors understand your intentions and reduces the burden of decision-making during a difficult time.
Yes, you can write your own Letter of Wishes. Unlike a will, there are no strict legal formalities required. However, working with an estate planner like Frances ensures your letter is comprehensive, clearly written, and properly complements your will. Professional guidance helps ensure you cover all the important areas and that your wishes are expressed in a way that's easy for your executors to follow.
Your Letter of Wishes can be as detailed or as brief as you like – there are no rules. Some people write just a page covering their main preferences, while others write several pages with detailed guidance. The key is to include information that will genuinely help your executors and family. Focus on things that matter to you: funeral arrangements, distribution of personal items, messages to loved ones, or guidance about caring for dependents. You can always add to it over time.
Related Services
A Letter of Wishes works best alongside other estate planning documents
Ready to Create Your Letter of Wishes?
Book your free, no-obligation consultation today. We'll help you create a comprehensive Letter of Wishes that complements your will and gives your loved ones the guidance they need.